I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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