I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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