Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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