My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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