nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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