I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
