handjob tips. give me some.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
