I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
