When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
