You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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