Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there was a trapeze. enough said
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
