its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Randomize
