This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
