He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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