Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
