Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
is that a dick in a sweater?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
