you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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