Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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