Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
