Me. At least after what I've been through.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize