I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We have so much sex to catch up on
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
