Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
