just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
