Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
