Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
