You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
