Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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