i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
