I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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