The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
