So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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