Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
