How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
