i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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