i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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