I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Randomize
