You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
