I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
