made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
