i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
