your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
