you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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