Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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