Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
