is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
