I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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