At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
