I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
