Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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