What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We left an ass print on the piano.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
