I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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