At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
