i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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