Apparently you make a good broom.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
