You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
