You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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