SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Shame - the story of my life.
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