it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
