Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
operation have a gay friend backfired
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
