For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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