Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
