Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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