i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
