It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i drank out of a bidet.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
