I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
