I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
