Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
