i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
