I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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