I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
