Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
