but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
