how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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